For partners, family, and friends
Someone you care about is taking time for their healing.
If someone shared this page with you, they've chosen to include you in this part of their life. Here's some general information about the intensive, along with a few ideas you're welcome to consider, adapt, or set aside. Every person is different, and the person you care about is the best guide to what feels supportive.
What the week involves
Five full days of focused, careful work.
An intensive runs Monday through Friday, 9am to 4pm, in person in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. It's private, individual therapy, paced carefully to what each person's nervous system can welcome.
Days can feel meaningful and tiring at the same time. The person you care about might come home relieved, quiet, emotional, talkative, or simply ready for sleep, and any of that is okay.
You don't need to understand everything happening inside the work to be part of the care around it.
Ideas you might consider
A few possibilities, to adapt as you go.
Asking what would help
Some people appreciate an offer of practical help, such as childcare, pets, meals, or errands. Others prefer to handle things themselves. Asking, and following their lead, is often a good place to start.
Following their lead
Some people enjoy calm, simple evenings. Others would rather have company or a distraction. They may or may not want to talk about their day, and either is okay.
Making room
For some people, the experience continues to settle for weeks. Patience, and room to share in their own time, may be welcome.
Some people find comforting
Simple, gentle presence.
- "I'm glad you're doing this for yourself."
- "Is there anything that would help this week?"
- "No need to talk about it unless you'd like to."
- Quiet company, a walk together, or a hug, if it's welcome
Some people find harder
Pressure, however well meant.
- Being asked for details before they're ready to share
- A sense that they're expected to feel completely different by Friday
- Busy evenings, plans, or visitors they didn't choose
- Their quietness or need for space being taken personally
What feels supportive is different for everyone, and it can change from day to day. The person you care about knows what they need, and it's okay to check in, ask, and adjust together.
Common questions
From partners, family, and friends.
Can I come to the sessions?
Intensives are individual sessions, so partners, family members, and friends don't attend. If the person you care about would like, you can be part of the care around them before and after each day.
Will I be told what happens during the intensive?
Their work is private, and what they share is entirely their choice. Vanessa doesn't share information with anyone without the client's written consent.
What if they seem more emotional or tired than usual?
That's common during and after an intensive. What helps is different for everyone, so asking them is often the best guide. If you're ever worried about their safety, you can call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency.
What about my own feelings during this time?
Caring about someone through a meaningful experience can stir up feelings of your own, and that's understandable. Some people find it helps to lean on their own support, whatever that looks like for them.
This page shares general, educational information and isn't clinical advice for any individual or family.
Thank you for caring.
Your care is part of what surrounds the person you love, in whatever form it takes.
If you or someone you care about is in crisis, you can call or text 988 in the U.S. to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, any time of day.